


Whatever's Left

by Gaffsie



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-16
Updated: 2010-04-16
Packaged: 2017-10-08 23:50:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gaffsie/pseuds/Gaffsie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Cam share a beer on the pier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whatever's Left

Even though Atlantis had been parked in the San Fransisco bay for more than two months, Cam still wasn't used to it. You couldn't see the city from land, of course, but just knowing it was out there was plain freaky, and standing in Atlantis looking out at the bustling San Fransisco didn't feel much more normal. Technically speaking, Cam didn't really have any good reason to visit the city. He wasn't a scientist, so all the shiny technology and incomprehensible scribblings that had Sam and Daniel practically salivating with glee did nothing for him. Being the head of SG1 had its perks though, the most notable one being that people just assumed that he was haunting the Atlantis hallways out of concern for his team. And sure, he still felt responsible for them, even though the team had been more or less disbanded even before Sam's stint as the leader of Atlantis. Sam and Daniel were both about as happy as pigs in muck playing with what the city had to offer though and Cam didn't kid himself that they even noticed he was there. But it did make for a good cover.

He hadn't been able to spend this much uninterrupted time with John since the Ancients threw the Atlantis expedition out of the city two years ago. John had been miserable then, but a small, selfish part of Cam was glad he was there with him on earth. This time around John had the city and his team, and Cam had found that it did wonders for John's mood. He'd been growing steadily more unhappy this last week though, and Cam was feeling a bit concerned.

He didn't find John in his office, the gate room, the gym, the labs, his room or his favourite balcony, and none of the people he asked seemed to know where he was at. _Make that 'a lot' concerned_, Cam thought. Even off duty like now, John practically never took his comm off, but Cam had a stubborn streak a mile wide, and he'd be damned if he couldn't find John without the aid of technology.

Eventually, Cam found him out on one of the piers. The hunch of his back signaled exhaustion. Hell, everything about him did.

"So this is where you've been hiding," he said, and sat down next to him right at the edge of the pier, legs dangling over the water below. John didn't even look at him. He just kept staring out at the San Fransisco bay and took a deep swallow from his beer.

"Enjoying the view?" Cam asked, already knowing that John wasn't out here to look at the pretty lights on the shore.

John snorted, but he reached out for another beer and handed it to him, so Cam figured that the ice had been broken.

They sat in silence for awhile, John lost deep in thought and Cam just waiting. He knew John well enough to know when he needed some space.

When John finally broke the silence, Cam had already finished half his beer, and John's was long since empty. "Do you ever question why we do this?" John's voice sounded hoarse and about as tired as he looked. He still hadn't so much as glanced at Cam since he arrived.

"God, country and mom's apple pie isn't good enough for you?" Cam countered, half kidding, half serious.

"I guess," John started, "... I guess I always thought there'd be something more to it than that."

Cam frowned. "What, you angling for a medal or something? Doesn't sound like you, Shep."

"That would be the day," John muttered. "No," he finally said. "I just... - This was home, you know?" He sounded painfully earnest suddenly, and Cam ached for him. For them both. He'd be lying if he said that everything had turned out the way he pictured when the SGC recruited him. These days, SG1 existed in name only, and Cam's responsibilities had shifted accordingly.

"It's not anymore?" He glanced over at John. Even with the lights of two cities reflected in the water, it was still dark, and his face was hidden in shadow.

"It's just a city," John said. A non sequitur if there ever was one.

The pier was empty save for him and John, but being discreet was too much of a way of life for them both to allow much in the way of physical comfort out in the open like this. It was dark out, and they were alone, but this was John's city and it wouldn't be right for him to initiate something that had the potential to blow up so spectacularly in John's face. Cam settled for nudging John's shoulder with his own. John would take it in the spirit it was intended.

"It isn't the same anymore."

"They'll let you go back," Cam tried to reassure him. "They want the chair in easy reach, and the SGC scientists are overjoyed that all the wonders of the Ancients are just a plane ride away from the mountain, but the IOA is tearing itself apart trying to decide where to park her. Unless there's a coup or something they'll have no choice but to let you fly this baby back to neutral ground."

John turned to look at him. "The city, yeah, but the people? McKay's staying. He's angling for a Nobel, and he's not gonna get it in Pegasus."

John and McKay were close friends, Cam knew, but McKay staying on earth wasn't enough to account for the almost tangible cloud of gloom that seemed to surround John lately.

"And?" Cam prodded.

"Why do I like you again?" John asked, clearly exasperated at having to explain himself further. He gestured with his beer can. "McKay's staying behind and so are a good chunk of the other scientists. Most of the marines have already been reassigned. _Lorne's_ staying."

"Ronon and Teyla?"

"Ronon's not leaving Pegasus until every last Wraith is dead, and Teyla would never abandon her people like that. But the team's still gone."

"Really?" This was news to Cam.

"Yeah," John said. "Woolsey wants Teyla in charge of a goodwill team, and Ronon to oversee a Pegasus-wide military alliance."

"Wow," Cam said, a little stunned. "And what about you?"

John groaned as if mortally wounded. "As the military commander, my responsibilities will be far more ... administrative." Cam could practically _hear_ the finger-quotes.

"Desk duty," Cam said glumly.

"Yeah."

"Things change," Cam offered.

"I know." John sounded wistful. "Woolsey is right, and it's a great opportunity for both of them. Family friendly. I don't resent them that. I'm not that guy. I just wish..."

Cam took pity on him. John wasn't fond of talking about feelings at the best of times, and right now he was morose and a little shell shocked. "I get it." He toyed with his beer can. "You guys will still be friends though."

"Yeah," John said.

"And," Cam continued and furtively put a comforting hand on John's knee, "you'll still have me. That's gotta count for something, right?"

"It does," John said seriously, and to Cam's surprise, he punctuated that statement by pulling him into a brief kiss. "It does."

END


End file.
